Margo Kingston's Webdiary // A New Leaf Turned

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sincerest Apologies, Dear Readers

Dear Faithful Readers of Webdiary,

I must apologize for my lack of correspondence in the previous weeks. My entire life has been altered, to the point where I don't know what is what any longer. Viewpoints and ideas previously held dear to my heart have collapsed, to be replaced by -- well, I do not know that, just yet.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

Roughly a week and a half ago, one of the library assistants was sorting some books on a bookshelf above the terminal at which I make my intermittent posts. I recall growing frustrated, at the time, at her efforts as they were quite distracting to my latest anti-Howard rant. After I over-emphasized a sigh for the umpteenth time, the assistant librarian (whether purposely or accidentally, I still do not know) dropped a hefty tome on my poor head.

When I came to, several hours later, I was at a complete loss. Amnesia had set in, as I did not even know my name, what day it was, or who the Prime Minister was. After being helped to a chair by one of the paramedics that had been called, the events of preceding paragraph were explained to me. The poor young girl was simply distraught because of the incident, and inconsolable until I repeatedly assured her that she was not responsible; that she was valiantly trying to do a job made harder by the efforts of a rude patron.

After pressing the librarians for more details, I soon learned that I had no means of income; that I had been at the library non-stop for several days; and that I had been sleeping there and consuming the heavier books for nutrition. As I learned the state of things, I grew more and more appalled, but as my derision grew, so did my resolve to do something about it.

I immediately applied for a job at a local diner, and was hired. (In the situation I was in, I felt it was more important to be making any bit of money at all, rather than remain unemployed while "waiting" for a more suitable job opportunity that may never arrive.) I have been working nearly 60 hours a week, in an attempt to regain enough money to be on my own again, as well as replace the books and computer equipment I had damaged during my stay at the library.

In the meantime, I am still staying at the library, just not nearly as often. The staff, while merely tolerant of my presence before, have seem to have lost much of their apprehension regarding my stay there, after repeated assurances that I will be moving on as soon as my finances permit.

One other point I must make is that due to my increased workload, I have not nearly the time I used to have to peruse reports of the latest actions of the politicans. For example, I heard that Mark Latham was releasing a diary in the very near future. Yet I have no desire to read the vain writings of a failed politician, as there are more important things to be done. I have, however, grown to see the attraction of a lower tax rate, as this results in more money in my pocket, where it is most desperately needed. (Please, do not take this as a request for donations, as I now feel that anything given to you is not valued nearly as much as anything you have earned.)

By the way, while writing this (seemingly interminable) screed I have had occasion to peruse past postings here. I am simply appalled at the lack of basic punctuation, grammatical, and spelling acumen displayed here, not to mention the incredibly naive points of view expressed. This humble writer must apologize for the total unreadability of the previous posts, and must ask that you not judge a person by what they have done in the past, but by what she is doing now.

Sincerely yours,
Margo Kingston

P.S. As time permits, I will be going through previous posts to "correct" as much as I can, for the sake of future readers. However, this appears to be a daunting task, as many of my writings seem to be little more than gibberish. Wish me luck.

11 Comments:

  • Who is this new half-wit fooling with her semantic sorcery? And what has she done with Margok?

    Come back, Margok! A firm grasp of the English language is insufficient; not on-message enough! Agendas need to be pushed!

    By Blogger James Waterton, at 2:11 am  

  • Margo, should you feel the need to institute legal action against the librarian who so egregiously disregarded her duty of care towards a patron, I will be happy to represent.

    -- Nick

    PS. Nora very concerned about tenor and spelling of your latest post.

    By Blogger Nick and Nora Charles, at 6:44 am  

  • Nick,

    Thank you for your generous offer; however, I have nothing but undying gratitude for the person who, however it may have happened, opened my eyes to the way the world truly is. This woman has my eternal thanks.

    I apologize to Nora for any mispellings that may have occurred. Please assure her that they were not intentional. As far as any meaning my latest post may have, it is truly the way I feel now.

    Margo Kingston

    By Blogger Margo Kingston, at 7:16 am  

  • Dash it all, Margo, you're spoiling the fun. I should think one of your friends at the library might be prevailed upon to drop something yet heavier, perhaps a piano, on your head, and thus restore your insane yet boring leftism and your dis-facility with the language. What what?

    PS: The word verification "word" is mioayb, which means--nothing. Nothing at all.

    By Blogger jgm, at 9:52 am  

  • jgm:

    Alas, you are out of luck, dear sir, as there are no pianos nearby -- neither here, nor at the diner.

    Margo Kingston

    By Blogger Margo Kingston, at 10:08 am  

  • Hi Margo,
    Are you new accepting reader's contributions for your Web Diary?

    Kindest Regards,
    Nora

    PS - Once I got over the shock of your post I found myself quite enjoying the new style.

    By Blogger Nick and Nora Charles, at 10:17 am  

  • Margo,

    That tome you had dropped on your head was a magic tome. It turns illiterates into possible capable wordsmiths and improves the use the proper punctuation.
    It really seems to have worked. I was mightily impressed with your last posts spelling and grammatical correctness. It's worked just as well as the time you were hit with that ugly stick.

    By Blogger Hank Reardon, at 10:34 am  

  • Margo,

    Actually I think I can get used to your new and miraculous literacy (though I have a rather fine piano boxed and ready to ship), but let me ask you--might we hope that there will also be a slight--well, American women call it a "makeover"--in your future? Mr. Readon's locution "hit with an ugly stick" is crude, but sums up the problem succinctly.

    PS: My "piano" is actually one of those little electronic keyboards, so it would probably have to be dropped on your head multiple times, and from a greater height than a real piano would require. Something to consider, but I'll send it .

    By Blogger jgm, at 3:59 pm  

  • I trust it's an ethical diner, with vegan snacks and decaf soy lattes on offer, not some patriarchal establishment that enforces misogynistic stereotypes by making "waitresses" wear "uniforms", while encouraging testosterone-fueled aggression by feeding potential rapists hormone-pumped parts of brutally murdered animals.

    By Blogger paul, at 4:21 pm  

  • Margo, you're so boring now that you're literate. I'm over you.

    By Blogger James Waterton, at 4:28 am  

  • Listen here Margo I've just about had a gutfull of all this crap.
    Since when has self editing a post involved taking half a dozen valium and waiting twenty minutes before switching on the "tv"??

    By Blogger Marilyn Shepherd, at 11:00 pm  

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